Hallotober Schocktacular Frightfest 2011: The Classics

Tonight was classic movie monster night. One thing I admire about monster movies of the ’50s: when the monster is dead, the movie is over. Instantly. No epilogue, no setting up a sequel, no cheap final scare. Just ten seconds of credits.

Night 13 – The Wolfman. The scariest thing about this movie isn’t the fact that the Wolfman looks like an anthropomorphic teddy bear wearing business casual attire. The scariest thing is that the protagonist has a suspiciously rape-y attitude toward the female lead. And her response is always “Oh you, stop kidding around.” Maybe in an earlier draft this film was called “The Lovable Rapist.”

Night 14 – Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein. Another comedy/horror, but this seemed like a logical follow-up to The Wolfman since it features Lon Chaney playing the exact same role, mysteriously brought back from the dead. The title is kind of misleading, it would more accurately be called, “Abbot and Costello Play Characters That Meet Frankenstein, But Also Dracula and The Wolfman, and In Truth Frankenstein’s Not In It That Much, and If We’re Being Literal Here It’s Not Frankenstein But Frankenstein’s Monster.”

Night 15 – The Creature From the Black Lagoon. Without spoiling too much, I’ll say that one of the methods the heroes use to try to kill the Creature is to dump gallons upon gallons of fish poison into the Amazon River. Those were simpler times.

The classics are great, but just not scary enough compared to more recent films. I’m going to need to step up the fright factor in the second half of the month.

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